Counting Down The Days

200 days to go!!!

It dawned on me today that I haven't yet been stressed about organising the details of the wedding. People have told me over and over again how stressful it is to organise a wedding, yet so far, we have not encountered anything remotely resembling stress.

With the exception of the usual family politics, everything has been smooth sailing.

- We have booked the church and met with Father Paul, who will be officiating our wedding. We have even attended the first session of our pre-wedding preparation course, with the second and final session to take place this coming Saturday. Father Paul has been wonderful and very good humoured about everything, so we are really looking forward to future meetings with him in the lead up to the wedding day.

- We have locked in (and paid our deposit) our wedding reception venue. Some time after Easter, we will be meeting with the events manager again to discuss menus, music, decorations and other important details for the reception.

- We have secured the services of a photographer.

- Our gorgeous friend Miss Fifi is designing our wedding invitations. Miss Fifi is so wonderfully talented and artistically creative - we know we will love her designs!

- We're looking for a perfect wedding ring for Jonathan. There's plenty of time, so we are carefully perusing different websites for something that Jonathan absolutely loves. We had already bought my wedding ring when we were in New York, at the same time we got Stella.

- I have bought my party shoes already!

- I've been looking at wedding dresses online, and have found some great websites for dresses shipped from China for a very low cost. I've more or less decided that since I'm only wearing the dress once, I don't want to spend thousands of dollars on the dress. I have my heart set on one particular dress - just need to find a website that sells not only the dress but the matching accessories such as the petticoats and the veil as well.

- I have found a local florist whose work I admire. Just need to get in contact with her and talk details. We have decided on a simple bouquet for me, small pin on corsages for the womenfolk, buttonholes for all the menfolk, and something special for the little ones who are part of the bridal party.

- We've started looking at suits for Jonathan, but we are in no rush to decide as there is still plenty of time.

- We are still deciding on what to do about cars. Dad has driven both the sisters to their weddings, and wants to do the same for the last remaining single daughter, so it looks like we may not need to hire any cars (although that may make our trip down to Sydney Harbour and Luna Park for post wedding photos a little more difficult).

- We've made the decision to ditch the bonbonniere. It's a lovely touch, and I've always found it a lovely gesture, but it's an added expense that guests may leave behind. We'd rather put more money on the bar!

- We have been on the lookout for outfits for the flower girls and the page boy. Still time to look, but I am starting to step up my efforts.

- Jonathan's parents have all but locked in their dates for their trip across the ditch. We are just waiting on final numbers as to who will cross the ditch for the big day, before resuming our search for some accommodation to house them for time they are in Sydney.

- Our honeymoon is pretty much all organised. We'll be spending a week in Hong Kong with Dad and Mum, eating and drinking and doing a bit of sightseeing (Jonathan has never been to HK and I'm keen to play tourist with him), culminating with Dad's big party for the HK relatives on the second last day of our trip.

Who said organising a wedding was stressful?

With everything pretty much taking care of itself, I sometimes wonder if I've missed something along the way. I'm sure I've ticked all the boxes, so I keep reminding myself that no stress is good news!

200 days to go!!! It's an amazing feeling!

Mina & Momma G

Sunday 14 March was a momentous day for my little family of me, Jonathan and Mina. For the first time ever, Mina called me "Mummy".

To Mina, it was no big deal. I've been in her life for 2 years, and for all intents and purposes, I am her mother figure on the weekends when she comes to visit. To her, there hasn't been a time when I haven't been around. So it is natural for Mina to think of me as a mother.

To me, it was a huge deal. To the point that I burst into heaving sobs of sheer euphoria when Mina said "You are my Mummy". Even today, 2 days later, I'm on the brink tears of happiness as I type this.

To know why it's a huge deal to me, you need to know that I have had some moments of conflict with my status as a stepmother. Of whether it is right for me to discipline Mina when she's misbehaving. Of what my rights are to Mina. Of what my standing is in her life. For 2 years, I have treaded the very fine line of stepmotherhood, where I have held back on unleashing fully my brand of discipline, mainly because it may not gel with the brand of discipline agreed by Jonathan and JX (Jonathan's ex-wife). For 2 years, I have been supportive to Jonathan and have made suggestions about child rearing when he's been frustrated with part time parenting. And for 2 years, I've sometimes felt that I don't have a right to speak up with regards to how to raise a child, all because the child is not mine.

Jonathan has been my rock and cheerleader throughout this time, to the point of telling me that he and I are one team - The H Team - when it comes to the matter of raising Mina. Jonathan has always told me that I have a very important place in Mina's life, and that she is as much his girl as she is mine.

Still, I couldn't help but let that little thought creep through my mind - "No, G, you're not her mother - she's not yours and you're but a stepmother." On the Friday afternoons of Mina's sleepover visits, my Facebook status often reads "G is going home to her boy and his girl". His girl. Not my girl.

Another point to make is that neither Jonathan nor I have ever asked Mina to call me by anything but my name. We have never once asked Mina to call me Mummy, nor prompt her to call me Mummy. I was Gloria to her - well, I was always referred to as "Mina's Gloria", which is lovely - but never anything more than my name.

So to hear her say to me, "you are my Mummy", was a heart-melting, heart-bursting, exhilarating, all encompassing moment of pure unadulterated euphoria that resulted in my bursting into heaving sobs.

Poor Mina. She thought she'd upset me by calling me her Mummy. But when I managed to compose myself enough to tell her that I was happy, and the tears were actually my way of saying how happy I was, Mina continued to call me Mummy.

It was quite funny how Mina reacted to my tears and subsequent explanation, which was more akin to "Well, duh, you ARE my Mummy, so why are you so surprised I called you Mummy?"

So there you have it. I'm a real mother. I'm someone's Mummy. I'm Mina's Mummy. Mina is really "my girl". And I love it.