Being Momma G: Day 102

And the stupidness continues with the Evil Witch and Mina.

We are done. So done with them and their bullshit. Even Jonathan has had enough. Today, he put his foot down and basically declared to the Evil Witch that if she forces Jonathan to choose between our family and Mina, he would choose us in a no brainer contest.

Yesterday, the Evil Witch contacted Jonathan to ask if we could drop Mina home earlier on Sunday, at around 11am, so that they could leave for their holidays on Sunday afternoon. We were happy to do this, and all was fine and well. Last Sunday, Mina and I had made plans to do a few things this weekend, and everyone was looking forward to Mina having a 2 night sleepover.

The Evil Witch contacted us again today to say that dropping Mina home on Sunday did not suit her any more, and that Mina would now be spending only Friday night with us, and Mina was to be dropped home by dinner time on Saturday. After weeks of trying to get Mina back into the routine of sleeping over 2 nights every fortnight weekend, the Evil Witch was now fucking up the pattern again.

So Jonathan sent a message back to say that we would be happy to drop Mina home by 8am on Sunday, and that we were to stick with the original plans of sleeping 2 nights this weekend. The response we got was "No can do. 1 night sleepover this weekend."

There was no asking us, no consulting us, no checking with us. We got told that the plans had changed. We apparently had no say in these new arrangements at all. Why the fuck does she do this all the fucking time?

Jonathan got on the phone straight away and talked to the Evil Witch. As always, the Evil Witch had already made up her mind about how things were to be done and had convinced Mina that Mina only wanted to stay at our house for a 1 night sleepover this weekend. The Evil Witch kept talking and talking, and Jonathan couldn't get a word in edgewise. The Evil Witch was adamant that Mina did not want to sleep over 2 nights this weekend, but then refused to let Jonathan talk to Mina to find out what had changed her mind. All day Sunday, Mina was looking forward to a 2 night sleepover. That was pretty much all we talked about, and we had plans to make all sorts of yummy things during her stay. But the Evil Witch put paid to all that.

There was no talking to the Evil Witch, for once she had made up her mind about something, nothing else mattered, until her decision no longer suited her. Jonathan tried to reason with the Evil Witch, who said her and Mina were going away on holidays and they were to leave at 8am on Sunday morning, to which Jonathan replied he would drop Mina home by 8am to ensure their plans did not change. The Evil Witch then told Jonathan that she had talked to Mina and Mina was insistent on staying over 1 night.

The Evil Witch insisted that Mina was unhappy with the idea of spending 2 nights at our house, and Jonathan asked that we tried to reinstate the routine, with this weekend to be a 2 night sleepover. Jonathan kept telling the Evil Witch that Mina had been happy to do the 2 night sleepover all along, and he was certain that if he had a chance to talk to Mina, then Mina would tell the Evil Witch exactly that. The Evil Witch accused Jonathan and me of scaring Mina into agreeing to the 2 night sleepover, and that Mina only said she was happy to make us happy.

Right about this point, Jonathan snapped. The Evil Witch had pushed him too far, and he told her that she was doing her best to poison Mina into believing that Mina couldn't spend 2 nights away from her mother. The Evil Witch never asked questions the way normal questions were asked. Instead of asking Mina "Do you want to do a 2 night sleepover at Daddy's house this weekend?"{, the Evil Witch would say "You don't want to do a 2 night sleepover at Daddy's house this weekend, do you?" For a little girl who was shit scared of her mother, and yet idolised her mother at the same time, what was she to say but "No, mummy, I don't want to do a 2 night sleepover with Daddy."

Then the Evil Witch brought up some ancient history, of a time over TWO YEARS AGO when Mina had trouble sleeping over at Jonathan's house. Jonathan shot her down and told her that was a long time ago, and Mina had not had any problems since. So the Evil Witch brought up the night when Mina threw a nasty tantrum during a sleepover, and Jonathan caved in and called the Evil Witch to come and collect Mina as I was out with Sean and had taken the car. I knew this would come back to haunt us - I wish I had been home that night, because I would have told Mina to stop carrying on and go to sleep. I also wish Jonathan had been stronger that night and told Mina exactly what I would have told her. Jonathan was now able to see his decision that night was detrimental with devastating effects.

Enough was enough, and Jonathan told the Evil Witch that he was through with this stupidness. We would see Mina this Saturday, when she would be picked up at 7.30am and returned home on the same day by 5pm. Jonathan also said there would be no more sleepovers for Mina, and that we would see her on Sundays only. The Evil Witch stopped dead in her tracks, and told Jonathan that wasn't what she wanted. Jonathan told her he didn't care what she wanted - this was what HE wanted, because he was sick and tired of plans being changed. Unless Mina begged to sleepover at our house again, and she had to beg and not change her mind, she was to visit on Sundays only, with pick up at 7.30am and drop off at 5pm.

The Evil Witch tried to get Jonathan to take Mina for 1 night sleepovers, but when that failed, told Jonathan she would relay his wishes to Mina. Jonathan quite forcefully told the Evil Witch that this latest change to the arrangement was not his wish, but was the best solution as a result of her poisoning Mina into change her mind about staying over with us. We needed a routine, and the Evil Witch and Mina constantly pushing the "Reset" button on the access arrangements was causing too much grief.

The Evil Witch still wanted to negotiate to have things her way, but Jonathan was done. He told the Evil Witch that if Mina did not want to visit at all, that was fine too. Jonathan was just completely over being played by the Evil Witch and Mina. Jonathan stood firm on this weekend's access - Saturday only - and finally, the Evil Witch agreed and the phone call ended.

Jonathan was terribly upset afterwards. It broke my heart to see him so upset. Sean and I gave Jonathan cuddles in an effort to make him feel better. My darling Jonathan is the best husband and father and friend anyone could ask or hope for, and to see him being treated as badly as the Evil Witch treated him, it made me so mad that I wanted to drive over to her house and beat her around the head, and sit Mina down and ask her why she was being so hurtful and untruthful.

After weeks and weeks of ridiculous behaviour, Jonathan was finally fed up with being held hostage by his 6 year old daughter, who was allowed to get away with blue murder at home, because her idiot mother granted her anything she wanted. Mina had been so poisoned by the Evil Witch that she would say anything to please the Evil Witch. In my opinion, Mina was beyond help. And I would see to it that she was not part of Sean's life if she continued to behave like a spoil brat. If Mina continued to play us off against her mother, then as far as we were concerned, she was choosing to not be part of our family, but instead she would be the occasional visitor who would not have any say in our house. I would see to it that the study / guest room be referred to as the "study / guest room", and never "Mina's room" again.

I will not let anyone hurt my family. Not even a seemingly innocent 6 year old child who had been manipulated by her fucking idiot mother. Especially not a spoilt brat 6 year old child. And definitely not a psychotic bitchy Evil Witch. Don't mess with the bull, people. You'll get the horns.

Some time after the phone call with the Evil Witch ended, her partner called Jonathan to have another go. Those two morons really deserved each other.

According to Jonathan, Steve sounded a bit sheepish that he was once again roped into defending the Evil Witch's actions, and asked what Mina had told us about the sleepovers. Jonathan told him it was none of his business and that he should stay out of it, but Steve wouldn't have a bar of what Jonathan wanted. My guess was that he would have a fight on his hands with the Evil Witch if he didn't give Jonathan a serve. Jonathan told Steve that Mina had wanted to sleepover until the Evil Witch got to her, and Steve told Jonathan that Mina had told them of her own volition that she didn't want to do a 2 night sleepover at our house. One thing Jonathan and Steve both agreed on was that Mina was confusing everyone with what she wanted. Honestly, I couldn't give a shit any more. I don't want Mina in my house, bringing with her poison from the Evil Witch.

Whatever stupid game Mina thought she was playing was only going to see her miss out on time with us, and both Jonathan and I were done with being held hostage by her. Mina telling us one thing and telling her mother the exact opposite was tantamount to her lying to us. And I will be sure to tell her all that and more this weekend when she comes for her visit.

The Evil Witch, as usual, had to have the last word. She contacted Jonathan by text message to say that from now on, she no longer wished to speak to him on the phone, and she would contact him only by email or by text message. ABOUT FUCKING TIME!!! We'd only been asking her to do this for months.

The day had been testing in other ways too. Sean was extremely unsettled all day today. After waking at 2am, Sean came into the bed for a feed, and stayed in our bed with us for the rest of the night. As per the last few nights, Sean and I both fell asleep during this feed, so when he woke at 5am for his next feed, I tried my best to stay awake to make sure Sean got a good feed. After suckling for 20 minutes on one side, he didn't want any more - in fact, he could not be woken to try and feed on the second side. Sean woke again just before 7am and had a snack feed before I wrapped him up and put him back into his cot to see if he'd have a little sleep.

Sleep he did, for one 40 minute cycle, before he woke and could not be resettled. Jonathan and I decided to restart his day just before 8.30am with a feed, a play and then back to sleep for the little man.

All the bullshit with the Evil Witch and Mina and Steve took up most of our morning. It was exhausting having to deal with these idiots.

I spent the late morning sorting through my "filing system" to look for things to do with my tax returns, a task which I had put off for weeks and weeks and weeks but was now becoming more urgent to complete. Sean woke as I was finishing sorting things into piles, and we sat down to give him his lunch. Sean was very fussy during the feed, and afterwards, he was quite unsettled and again only managed a short sleep before waking and wanting to be comforted.

I had an appointment to see my darling friend Linda for one of her healing massages at 2pm, and when the little man woke just after 1.30pm, I tried my best to get him to go back to sleep. Unfortunately, Sean had other ideas, and Jonathan ended up taking over so I could get to Linda's house on time.

Linda's magical healing hands did wonders on my poor stressed body. She was able to work out the kinks in my shoulders and back, and left me feeling completely relaxed. I made plans to see Linda again after she was back from her holidays to Thailand.

When I got home, I found Jonathan and Sean sitting in the feeding chair. Sean seemed wide awake, and as it was time for his next feed, I thought he had only just woken up. Apparently not. After I left, Sean took a while to settle down, and slept for only a short time. Jonathan took Sean out of the cot and held him in the papasan chair for a while, where they both fell asleep for a bit, before the chair got too uncomfortable for Jonathan and they moved to the feeding chair.

Sean was hungry enough to have a better feed, but only marginally better. Again, it took ages for Sean to settle down to sleep, and again, he slept for a short time. Sean woke just after I had started to prepare dinner, and after trying to resettle him, we left him to cry or Jonathan and I would not have dinner until 10pm. I was trying another new recipe tonight - sausage and lentil casserole, which needed 100 minutes of cooking time, and Sean was not helping by being awake and refusing to go back to sleep. In the end, we let him cry while I prepared everything to go into the oven, and while the little man did cry, he managed to get himself calm for short bursts.

As soon as I put the casserole into the oven, I went and fed Sean. As with every other feed today, Sean would start feeding, and then would pull off and cry for no reason at all. Sean did this over and over again, and I finally had to force his head onto my boob and hold it there in order for him to stay on and have a proper drink. Afterwards, we had a good tummy time before a long long play. By the time we put him to sleep, we hoped that Sean would sleep for a couple of hours before waking for his next feed. Sean went down without a fight - not a sound, not a peep.

That was nearly 4 hours ago. The little man is still asleep and I'm getting quite tired, so I'm going to head to bed, and wait for him to wake up for his next feed. It has been a draining and long day. I hope we don't have to deal with any more stupidness from the Evil Witch for the rest of the week.