Day +2: Nausea, Nausea, Go Away

Nausea, nausea, go away. Come again ... well, actually, please don't. Please go away. And stay away.

The nausea had kicked in for Sean, and our poor little man was finding it difficult to keep his food down. The medical team was expecting Sean to have stopped eating, or at least refusing food by now. Sean, on the other hand, was defying the norm. He was still happy to eat, and was taking almost the same amount of food as he had always eaten. The keeping the food inside his stomach was proving to be a bit harder than it sounded.

About 20 minutes after eating a good sized breakfast, the breakfast revisited the outside world again. Poor little man - one minute he was happily playing in the cot, the next he was covered in used breakfast. And it went everywhere. Jonathan tried to contain the mess as best as he could, but ended up spreading it all over the bed, and smearing some on his shirt. Sean was understandably upset, and it took a while to calm him down.

The upset stomach was quite energy sapping, and Sean fell asleep a lot earlier than expected, and stayed asleep for a bit longer than usual. I was out of the room for a few minutes to have a shower, and by the time I returned, Sean was lying down and fast asleep. Jonathan said Sean simply laid down and went to sleep by himself. What a traumatic start to the day.

It didn't even take 20 minutes for Sean's body to reject lunch. He was still happily eating when his little stomach decided it didn't want lunch after all. Because of these incidents, the medical team decided to give him extra fluids to prevent dehydration.

This was a new worry we didn't want to add to the list, but it was inevitable as nausea was an unavoidable side effect, so we let the team work out the best way to help Sean through this phase.

I hadn't been off the ward or out of the hospital for a couple of days, so Jonathan sent me up to Belmore Road to get some sushi for our dinner. I did more than just get dinner for us; I bought some snacks for us and a few jars and pouches of baby food for Sean. There really wasn't a lot of variety of baby food to choose from in the hospital, and we didn't want Sean to get bored of the 2 savoury flavours on offer. And Jonathan and I had both been craving some junk food all day long, so I took it upon myself to get a small amount of snacks for us.

It was a funny day like that - Sean wasn't too interested in eating because it made him sick, and Jonathan and I just wanted to snack and snack and snack all day long.

The afternoon weather was gorgeous. It wasn't too hot, and there was a gentle breeze about. My walk to the shops and back was a brisk one, and I was sweating a bit by the time I got back. I enjoyed my little stroll. It was nice to have some fresh air in my lungs.

Jonathan and I noticed in the last week or so how much more aware and alert Sean was becoming. He was learning so many new things and retaining the knowledge as well. For instance, Sean can dance to music - it might be just swaying or stamping his feet like he's trying to dance an Irish jig, but to us, that's dancing. Sean can absolutely wave to people, as both greeting them into the room and farewelling them as they depart. Sean is most enthusiastic about his waving, which completely delighted anyone and everyone who came into contact with Sean. Sean is learning to blow kisses - his version is to put his hand to his often open mouth (with his tongue poking out a bit), and then pulling his hand away and waving. So it wasn't so much as "blowing kisses" as "waving on the kisses".

Sean understood certain words and commands. He is able to sit when asked, and he knows what a nappy is. And there were times when he asked for his nappy to be changed - or so it seemed - by patting his puffy nappy. He knows how to pat - when we gave him cuddles and said "pat pat pat", he would pat our upper arms or shoulders. Sean is able to ask for a bottle of milk - he performs a motion that looked like he was holding something and shaking it up and down in a vigorous manner. And today, Sean showed me he can flip his tongue over, just like me.

Sean's favourite word / sound of the moment is "da da". Even though one of his first sounds was "mum mum", it had been a long time since he'd made that sound again. Every day, I try my best to get him to say "ma ma", only to be met with empathic "da da" sounds every time I try. I'd taken to throwing in some other sounds, like "gong gong" (公公) meaning maternal Grandfather, and "por por" (婆婆) meaning maternal Grandmother. But every time I said those sounds, he looked to the door, as if expecting them to walk in to visit him. I caught Sean almost saying "gong gong" earlier today, which would please my Dad to no end!

As the weeks pass, Sean was becoming more fun to play with as well. Sean is ticklish, which makes everybody laugh. Sean loves to hear songs being sung to him - his favourite is still Twinkle Twinkle, but The Wheels On The Bus Go Round & Round is fast becoming a favourite too. The few toys we brought to the hospital with us included a brand new LeapFrog puppy called Scout, a gift from Uncle Adrian on his recent visit to Sydney. Each of Scout's paws had a different function, and you had to press a paw to play music, learning songs or games. And if you pressed Scout's tummy, Scout would say some pre-recorded messages. Sean loves Scout - he gives him cuddles and kisses all day long, and he dances and sways to all the music Scout plays. One of the songs is Twinkle Twinkle, and Sean know to press the button to skip through the other songs until Scout starts playing Twinkle Twinkle. Clever monkey.

One of Sean's favourite games is Peek-A-Boo. Sean loves to pull a blanket or Nana's quilt over his head, and sit perfectly still, while Jonathan and I question aloud the whereabouts of our little man. "Where did Sean go? Where's the baby gone?" we would ask. And Sean would giggle and wriggle under the blanket for a bit. We'd ask the same question, and he'd pull the blanket down and grin his cheesy grin, and laugh. It's so funny for everyone involved.

Sean has a smile that could melt the coldest of hearts. I love how Sean's face lights up when he sees me. I love the sound of his laughter. I love his cuddles, and his kisses, as sloppy and more like face licks than kisses as they are. I love the cheeky grins he gives me when he knows he's about to do something slightly naughty.

The sound I like the least is Sean crying. I really hate it when he cries and cries when I leave our hospital room - Sean's cries make me not want to leave, even if it was only to go to the toilet, or duck into the kitchen to grab a bottle for Sean's formula, or skip to the laundry to do a load of washing or put our clothes in the dryer. Sean's cries made me not want to leave the hospital at all during our initial stay in January - I just couldn't bear to be apart from my little man if he was upset and crying. But I am stronger now, and I leave the room to do the things I need to do, even if Sean is crying. I always make sure he is safe in his cot and with someone trusted before I leave the room, and I try to be as quick as I can and return to Sean as soon as possible. But I do hate hearing Sean cry. That sound just tears strips off my heart.

Hopefully, I won't have to hear too many cries from Sean. But then again, he is predicted to become sicker. So I'll have to be strong and withstand the pain and love my little man with as much force as I can muster.

It's been a long day. Sean woke up a few minutes ago and needed a lot of comforting before falling back asleep. The nurse tonight is quite loud and noisy, so I hope she will be kind and be quiet when she is coming in and out of the room, and allow me to sleep a little.