Day -3: Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Bye bye, hair! We'll see you again some day soon!

We made the monumental decision to shave Sean's hair off today. One of the side effects of chemotherapy is alopecia (hair loss), and even though we'd been warned about this, no one could really tell us exactly when it was likely to happen. It was mentioned that hair loss was likely to happen Sean would be at his sickest, and the hair would come out in clumps, and not all at once. Some of the nurses mentioned that it may be easier for us if we were to cut his hair now, so that when the hair did start to fall out, it will be less of a mess to deal with then.

It felt important that we chose to shave Sean's head as opposed to seeing the hair fall out at some stage. So many things seem out of our control at the moment, so having the choice to cut Sean's hair was imperative. We sent our lovely nurse Simone to get the clippers, and set up a temporary barber shop in Club C2W17.

It was quite late in the afternoon by the time we got everything ready. We put a drop sheet on the floor and brought the weighing chair into the room. We covered the chair with a sheet, before putting Sean into the chair and covering him with towels. Simone showed us her hairdressing skills, welding the clippers with the greatest of ease. Sean was most cooperative throughout the hair cut - the only problem he had with the whole thing was having to sit still!

I busied myself taking photos of the hair cut, because I didn't want to stand still and process the thought of my baby losing all of his hair. It wasn't until much later that I shed a few tears.

The hair cut made it much easier to look at the cradle cap that was matted on to Sean's head. Sean had always had cradle cap, and we had always wondered how to best get rid of it. We'd been given different advice on how to treat the cradle cap, one of which was to rub olive oil through Sean's hair and all over his head. We had always been a bit reluctant to do that, but tonight, we went for it, and slathered olive oil all over Sean's head and massaged the cradle cap off his scalp.

For the first time ever, Sean did not have cradle cap. The olive oil worked a treat!

For about an hour after the hair cut, all I could think was how sick Sean really was. The baldness was part and parcel of chemotherapy, and it hit home that Sean was going through chemotherapy and he was really sick. Every now and again, I still forget that Sean is sick, even though we are sitting in a hospital room, and Sean is hooked up to 4 machines and pumps and there is a glut of lines and bungs hanging off his central line. The baldness was confronting, and it was a harsh reminder of Sean's disease.

After a little while, we got use to our newly shorn boy, and we had to admit that Sean was actually cuter without hair! Sean's head is a lovely shape without any odd bumps or lumps, and the bald look actually quite suited him. As his Uncle Dave pointed out, there was now more room for face paint.

We made sure Sean's hair dressing appointment was late in the afternoon, after my parents paid their last visit before they flew out of Sydney for their holiday. We didn't want my mother to be too upset on seeing Sean without hair, and as it was, when they arrived bearing boxes of yummy food again, Sean had just woken from his afternoon nap and was not a happy camper. He cried and cried and could not be comforted, and it wasn't until my parents were out of the room and we started feeding Sean some lunch that he became calm and happy.

We hurriedly placed a call to Dad's mobile, hoping they were still in the building, and as luck would have it, they were. We invited them back to the room, and Sean was more than happy to smile and interact with Gong Gong and Por Por. We didn't want Gong Gong and Por Por's last visit to be an unhappy one, so it was nice that Sean's mood improved so quickly and they saw a happy and bubbly baby, smiling and playful and full of life.

With my parents flying overseas tomorrow, Jonathan and I will miss the delicious takeaway they had been bringing to us from Chatswood. We'd been so spoiled with all the yummy food!

Speaking of yummy food, the wonderful people in C2W put on a gorgeous BBQ spread for the parents and carers every Saturday. For a princely sum of $4, you were invited to an all-you-can-eat buffet of chicken wings, mini chicken sausages, mini beef sausages, and mini burger patties, along with 3 different salads (green salad, Greek salad and coleslaw), and various condiments and French baguette, and a huge fresh fruit platter. There was a huge vat of fruit punch as well. Jonathan and I were lucky enough to sample the food during our stay on this ward in January, so we knew what to expect.

As with last time, we put $5 each into the Honesty Box, and piled our plates high with yummy BBQ goodness. Our day nurse Simone encouraged us to take extra food to put aside for another meal, so I went back and helped myself to more of the meats, and popped the plate into the fridge for tomorrow night's dinner. The food was just as delicious as I remembered from early January. Nom nom nom.

Today's chemotherapy was reduced from 3 drugs to two. Yesterday saw the last of the treosulfan, and today's cocktail consisted of alemtuzumab and fludarabine. Sean was handling the chemotherapy very well, and his appetite was holding well. He was even drinking more formula, which pleased us very much.

Because Sean's appetite was still holding, the doctors decided he didn't need to have another nasogastric tube passed for the time being. Which was great for Sean, as he really did not like having that tube passed through his nose.

No NG tube meant it was slightly easier to bathe and wash Sean. Jonathan only had to look after the central line and all the connectors, and now without hair, washing Sean's head and face was a lot easier. Sean's skin was likely to become quite dry with the chemotherapy, and now that the cradle cap was gone, Sean enjoyed a luxurious head to toe moisturising massage.

My little bald boy is fast asleep now, having had a few problems falling asleep again. I am still sad about the hair cut, but I know it will grow back. Some day. Some day soon.