Being Momma G: Day 6

Homeward bound.

After spending the past 6 days and 6 nights in hospital, I was ready to go home to my own bed. But I couldn't help feeling sad that I was leaving the hospital and the round-the-clock care I'd received over the past week.

As Sean stayed in the nursery overnight, I managed to get some much needed sleep. The phone rang at 5.45am to let me know the nursery was closing and I needed to go and collect the little man. I fed Sean after we returned to our room, before I sat down to express one last time using the hospital's pump. I never thought I would get so excited to see 70mL of breast milk in a little bottle at the end of the pumping session!

Plenty of people needed to see us before we were discharged from the hospital. Dr Baber was the first visitor at 6.30am. He had checked on me on a daily basis, and today, I felt a bit teary when he stopped by. Dr Baber asked if everything was OK, and I mentioned that I was a bit apprehensive about going home and not having the help I've enjoyed on tap. Dr Baber reassured me that there was help out there, and that I wasn't being spat out into the world with no one to help and nowhere to turn. It didn't really help to alleviate how scared I was feeling.

Jonathan arrived just after breakfast, and we set about packing up all my bits and pieces in our room while the little man slept. Next person who came by was Dr Arnold, Sean's paediatrician, who performed a thorough check on Sean before signing off on Sean's discharge. Once Dr Arnold finished examining Sean, we dressed him in his going home outfit and put him back to bed.

Margaret came by next, and talked at length with me about the plan of attack for expressing milk and feeding Sean. Until I was ready to breast feed again, I was to express milk every 3 hours, to keep up my milk supply and to try and be at least 2 bottles ahead of Sean's feeding pattern. When I was ready to try breast feeding again, Margaret suggested that I pay a visit to our local Early Childhood Health Centre and ask the nurses to help, or visit one of 5 drop in breast feeding clinics on the north shore. Margaret also said that I should try breast feeding again under supervision, as she didn't want me to damage myself again. Margaret then wrote everything we'd discussed on a page for me, so that I could refer to it when I got home. Bless Margaret. I felt teary again - what was I going to do without Margaret's gentle guidance?

Ros the midwife also came to see us. She was one of the first midwives to look after me when we first walked through the hospital doors on New Year's Eve to start our journey. In fact, Ros was the midwife who broke my waters on New Year's Day, a couple of hours before Sean was born. Ros was keen to get some feedback on our stay at the hospital, and both Jonathan and I were very honest in our feedback. We loved all the midwives and nurses who had looked after us - we just wish there were more of them, especially at night when I've waited nearly 30 minutes to be seen to after I rang the bell. We enjoyed the food and we were very comfortable during our stay. We gave special mention to Margaret, without whom I would not have recovered from the trauma associated with the first attempts at breast feeding a newborn. We also told Ros that the celebration dinner was an utter disgrace, and that we highly recommend her telling her future patients to skip the celebration dinner. After a long chat, Ros gave me a final check up, and checked Sean as well, before giving us our discharge papers and medication and wishing us well.

We picked up all our bags, and with Sean strapped into his capsule, Jonathan and I left the hospital hand in hand with our little man. It was hard to believe that only a week ago, we walked into the same building, hand in hand, just the 2 of us, preparing to meet our little man.

Sean was great in the car - he slept the whole way home, and Jonathan drove with extra care so as to not wake Sean, and also because I was still very sore from the birth. Once home, we put Sean into his bassinet and watched him sleep. So gorgeous.

At 11.30am, we began our ritual of expressing milk every 3 hours. Jonathan had set up my "milking station" with all the bits and pieces, so I went to work making food for Sean. Meanwhile, the little man woke up just as I was finishing, so Jonathan fed Sean while I tidied up and put the new bottle into the fridge.

The rest of the day was spent with both Sean and I dozing on and off, feeding, pumping, and dozing on and off. I started keeping a record of how much milk I was expressing and how much we were feeding Sean, as well as how many wet and/or poopy nappies Sean was producing. Yes, this is what my life has become.

We've now just finished feeding Sean and are going to try and put him to sleep ourselves. Our first night home, which means there will not be a nursery for us to leave the screaming baby to be cared for overnight. Hope we will manage!