Being Momma G: Day 10

Firstly, yay, Sean is 10 days old!

I can hardly believe it's been 10 days myself. My body tells me it's been longer.

The little milk monster woke just after midnight screaming for a feed. Both Jonathan and I got up - Jonathan to feed and me to express. At the end of the feed, we had hoped Sean would go back to sleep. Alas, that was not to be the case. Sean continued to be unsettled for the longest time and every time Jonathan put Sean down in the bassinet, Sean would start crying. We agreed to feed him a small top up of formula, which finally did the trick.

The next feed at 4.20am was easier. I left Jonathan to sleep as he'd already done so much, and thankfully, Sean fed well and went straight back to sleep, but not before leaving me a stinky message in his nappy. As asleep as I was, I still managed to change the poopy nappy - win for me.

Sean was now waking up every 3 or so hours for a feed, which is coinciding well with my expressing. I was still ahead of him by a fair margin, which means I was not stressed out that I wasn't not producing enough to keep him happy. We're still not breast feeding yet - I am a bit scared about doing it wrong, and I really don't want my nipples all shredded again.

By 8am, I was in a zombie state of mind. Sean woke, Jonathan fed, and I expressed. Again, I produced record levels as I didn't express after the 4.20am feed. It was pleasing to see that I'd almost filled a bottle with only one expression.

We called the West Ryde Early Childhood Centre to confirm the home visit with the child health nurse for tomorrow, and decided that we should pay a visit to a drop in breast feeding clinic later today to speak to someone about returning to breast feeding. I'm so over being chained to the Swing.

Jonathan, my darling man, sent me back to bed for a nap after the 8am feed and took it upon himself to settle Sean and tidy up the kitchen. I wasn't about to say no to the offer to return to bed. And I didn't wake up again until the next feed and express at 11.30am. Sean took quite a while to settle again, but when he did, Jonathan and I quickly showered and had something to eat, before we headed off to Lane Cove to see someone about breast feeding.

Unfortunately, when we turned up at the drop in clinic, we were told that we had read the information sheet incorrectly and that the breast feeding clinic was held in the morning, not in the afternoon. The nurse who saw us, Barbara told us to either wait for over an hour until she had finished with her appointments, or to go to another clinic tomorrow. I started crying - I was so desperate to see someone, plus the fatigue and the hormones were kicking in at full speed, so Barbara took pity on us and asked us to come back in 20 minutes, as another nurse called Kate was on her way back to the clinic after a home visit. We took ourselves to a coffee shop to wait.

Kate was lovely. Again, I cried while trying to tell her what had happened so far - that we've tried breast feeding, that we've been unsuccessful, that my nipples had just healed, the pumping, the desperation I was feeling. Jonathan had to step in and finish off some of my sentences because I was so upset. Kate assured us that we were doing the right thing, and was more than happy to help us by watching what we were doing. So, under Kate's watchful eyes, we gave breast feeding another go.

Sean latched on. Correctly. It took 3 goes, but he latched on correctly. And it didn't hurt. Hurrah!

Sean fed well on one side for 30 minutes, and then, under Kate's guidance, we tried to feed on the other side side. Again, it took a couple of attempts, but Sean and I got it right again. My tears continued, but this time, they were more tears of hope and relief. We stayed at the clinic and finished feeding Sean, with much thanks to Kate.

The little milk monster was so well behaved after the feed. Since I'd already broken confinement by going to the drop in clinic, we went across the road to do some grocery shopping at Woolworths. Sean slept the whole shopping trip, all the way home, and for about an hour after we got home.

We tried the breast feeding again at 7.45pm, and for a time, it looked like Sean and I were doing it right. But alas, Sean would not settle down after the feed, and we gave him a top up from the earlier expressed stock, as well as putting him back on the breast again. Eventually, he seemed full, and finally went down for some rest. However, within half an hour, Sean woke up again with the usual post feed hiccups.

Tonight is going to be interesting. It's humid and warm, which means we're going to have a hard enough time going to sleep, let alone with an unsettled baby. We can't wait to see the child health nurse tomorrow to get some advice on how to settle Sean at night during those vital hours when Jonathan and I should be getting some seriously needed shut eye.