Being Momma G: Day 23

We learn something new every day with Sean. When it comes to settling the little man, what worked yesterday is guaranteed to not work today. What works today may not work tomorrow. And what will work tomorrow will surely not work the following day. Every day is a new day, and there is a surprise around every corner.

Last night, after the 10pm feed, Sean went to sleep straight away. We hoped we'd get a few hours of sleep, and managed to have a couple of hours before Sean woke up for his next feed. Unfortunately, he also wanted to stay up and play after the 2am feed, and it took until nearly 5am before he finally went back to sleep.

As it was a Sunday, Mina was due to spend the day with us. Last week, her mother had all but demanded that we take Mina for a sleepover weekend this weekend, and considering how poorly Sean was sleeping, Mina would have been badly affected by all the crying during the night and we would have had 2 grizzly children to deal with. After pleading with her, to the point of using a "mother to mother" guilt trip angle, we convinced Mina's mother to explain more to Mina what newborn babies are like (they sleep, eat, cry and poop, rinse and repeat throughout the day) and that sleeping over right now would not be a good idea. We only wish that Mina's mother would grow a pair and be the mother and an adult, instead of letting her child dictate terms to her and call the shots.

Mina arrived just as Sean woke for his morning feed. We had a few cuddles in the bed, and Mina helped to keep Sean awake during the first half of his feed by giving Sean gentle caresses every time Sean fell asleep while suckling. It was nice to see Mina - we'd missed her visit last week as she was feeling unwell.

During our catch up, Mina made a few references to "Daddy" that seemed out of place. I finally worked out that she was calling her mother's partner "Daddy", and I gently asked her why she was calling a man who was not her father "Daddy". Mina's response was "Mummy is making me call him Daddy".

Gently, I told Mina to stop calling her mother's partner "Daddy" when she was in our house, and to never ever ever refer to that man as "Daddy" in front of Jonathan. As nicely as I could, I told Mina that she has a Daddy, a Gloria, a Mummy, and her mother's partner, and that's the way it should be. Calling that man "Daddy" would hurt Jonathan immensely, and Mina was to stop using this reference at once.

Poor Mina. She looked so sad when we were having this conversation. I assured her that she wasn't doing anything wrong - she was only doing what she was told to do by her mother. The mother has been so desperate to force the family unit on Mina, making Mina acknowledge her partner's daughters as her sisters, which I had a problem with when Mina first started referring to those girls as "my real sisters" but I've since let that slide, and now to complete the picture, Mina's mother is forcing Mina to call a man she met 18 months ago "daddy".

To me, this showed total disrespect towards Jonathan, who is a wonderful father and is always there for his kids. Further, this looked like an attempt by Mina's mother to cut Jonathan out of Mina's life. Why would you ask your own child to call another man "daddy" when she has a wonderful father already? I would totally understand if Jonathan was a dead beat dad, but he is the exact opposite, so why on earth would someone want to force her child to call a near stranger "daddy"?

Mina has on occasion called me Mummy. The first time she called me Mummy is still fresh in my mind - it was March 2010 and totally unexpected, and I was so overwhelmed that I burst into tears. Since then, Mina has continued to call me Mummy on the odd occasion, and when she has, it has been of her own choosing. We have never asked her to call me Mummy because she has a Mummy, but admittedly, when she has called me Mummy, we have not discouraged nor dissuaded her from doing so. 90% of the time, Mina calls me Gloria, and I'm happy being Gloria.

To say that Mina's mother cannot see the bigger picture is an understatement. Mina's mother has been known to not think things through before jumping into action. Imagine the stink we would cause if we were to force Mina to call me Mummy! Which is exactly what we would do if Mina's mother continues to force Mina to call the partner "daddy".

I debated whether or not to tell Jonathan, and in the end, I did. Jonathan tried his best to hide his emotions, but I could tell it upset him just as much as it upset me. Something will need to be said to Mina's mother at drop off time to nip this calling some random guy "daddy" in the bud.

The day was uneventful. Sean fed at 12.40pm, just as Jonathan got lunch on the table, and woke again at 4.15pm for another feed, just as Jonathan and Mina were getting ready to leave. We watched a whole lot of Spongebob Squarepants during the day, and Jonathan managed to get a nap in the afternoon. By the time Jonathan returned from dropping Mina home, it was time to get ready to go out for my mother's belated birthday dinner.

It was Mum's birthday on 15 January, and we had already had a birthday dinner last weekend to celebrate the occasion. But with Grace and Vinay and their children still overseas on their holiday last weekend, the "official" birthday dinner was held tonight.

Sean was pretty good for the most of dinner - he slept in the pram and didn't wake until almost the end of dinner for his feed. I made sure I dressed appropriately so Sean had easy access to his food. As we were in a private dining room at the restaurant, I was able to feed Sean in one of the corners of the room.

Grace had been looking so much forward to meeting Sean, and she got her cuddles before Sean and I retreated into a corner of the room to start our feed. Renée and Kiran were also quite keen to meet their brand new cousin, and they all got a chance as Sean was in a fairly good mood as he was waking up.

Kiran kept me company while I was feeding Sean, and Kiran was quite keen to learn all about how I was able to produce milk for Sean. I must admit I gave Kiran some phony information - after telling him that Sean liked one side more than the other, Kiran wanted to know the reason, and I told Kiran that the side Sean liked better must have chocolate milk. Then Kiran wanted to know how the chocolate milk got into my breast, and I told him that I sometimes gave myself a treat of chocolate during the day, and that must be how I would make chocolate milk. Then Kiran wanted to know how the chocolate would know which side to go to, and I told him there must be road signs inside my chest to direct the chocolate to the side that Sean liked. The conversation led to me having traffic lights in my chest, directing chocolate to one breast, water to the other breast and food into my stomach. Bless my gorgeous 4 year old nephew for believing such fanciful tales!

Sean and I finished the feeding just as Dad paid the bill, so we all left the restaurant and came home. Sean cried almost the whole way home, so we decided to give him a feed once we got settled. After being so over stimulated from our first meal in a restaurant, it took Sean a little while to settle down. He's now finally down, so it's time for bed for Jonathan and me. As Jonathan has to work tomorrow, no doubt the little man is going to be fussy and horrible tonight!