Day +45: Feeling A Little Bit Better

All the tears were starting to subside. And about time too.

I was starting to get a bit impatient with myself for being so fragile and teary and overwhelmed all day and all night. I needed to pull my socks up and get on with the tasks at hand, or a swift kick up the backside. All this crying was getting me nowhere.

This morning when I woke, I didn't feel as teary as I had been the last few days. I actually felt like I could get out of bed and face the day. I actually wanted to get out of bed. And I actually felt like the blanket that had been weighing me down for the past few days becoming lighter and less suffocating.

Today, I didn't mind Sean being a little bit fussy at breakfast time. Today, I wanted to play with Sean again. And it was while we were playing after breakfast that we had an unexpected visitor.

Rachel and Miss Maddy from Mothers Group paid us a surprise visit, as they had a small gift for Sean. Miss Maddy had made a drum for Sean, using a round takeaway container and some disposable chopsticks, and lovingly decorated with gorgeous farm animal stickers. Rachel was intending to drop the gift off and be on her way, but we got chatting, and Miss Maddy wanted to get out of the car, and Sean wanted to play with Miss Maddy, so they came in and stayed for a while.

It was so lovely of Rachel to think of us when she was doing arts and crafts with Miss Maddy. The gift was so thoughtful and Sean loved playing with it. Miss Maddy took a little while to warm to us, but when she did, she and Sean had a great time playing with all of Sean's toys. Miss Maddy was much taller than I remembered - she was such a pretty little lady!

Rachel and Miss Maddy stayed for a while and Rachel and I caught up. As Sean was still not officially allowed to socialise with large groups of people, we had not been able to join the ladies and babies on our regular Mothers Group catch ups. It'd been ages since I'd seen any of the babies, so it was really nice to see how much Miss Maddy had grown.

Sean seemed to enjoy having another toddler to play with, and even though he was tired and well overdue for his nap, he was happy to continue playing with Miss Maddy. Rachel and I had a good chat, but as time wore on, it was clear that Miss Maddy was getting tired as well, and they bade us a fond farewell so they could head home, have lunch, and let Miss Maddy have her nap as well.

It took next to no convincing for Sean to have his nap, and he slept for 3 hours, and missed lunch completely. This gave me plenty of time to myself, and I watched TV and didn't do much more than sit and relax.

I feel buoyed by our surprise visitors today. I hope my mood continues to lift. I'm sick of feeling down and off.