Day +75: A Truce & An Apology

A wise woman once shared with me her golden rule to a successful marriage.

She said she never went to bed angry with her husband, even if it meant saying she was sorry even if she thought it was her husband's fault, or letting things go when he didn't even realise she was mad.

She said she always tried to go to sleep at peace with her husband, so the next day can have its own battles, and not leftover ones from the night before.

Next year, she and her husband will celebrate 40 happy years of marriage.

Last night, I tried to do that - apologise and call a truce with Jonathan. And while we were both still a bit upset about what happened yesterday, we didn't go to sleep angry with each other.

We talked well into the night about what happened yesterday, and we managed to sort through a few things. One thing we both had strong feelings about was German school. We both agreed that we will no longer be taking M to this expensive play session after the end of this term.

I wasn't the only person feeling the frustration of not being able to do anything on a Saturday during sleepover weekends. Jonathan agreed that it was frustrating to see us wasting a whole day when we could be doing other fun things. After much discussion, Jonathan promised to tell the Dark Side that German school was out. No ifs. No buts. Quite simply, we were never consulted on this commitment, and certainly never agreed to taking her to this commitment. After the Dark Side enrolled M into these play sessions, knowing full well these "lessons" took time away from our weekends with her, we were then forced to take on the commitment of driving her on sleepover weekends to and from the church hall where the group met. The trips were an extra financial burden that we simply could not afford to keep up right now.

I can only equate the cost of our chauffeuring duties to those of a taxi service, hence the following calculations, which factor in the cost of petrol, the maintenance of the car, as well as a rate for Jonathan's time. According to World Taximeter, a single trip from our house to German school in a taxi would cost approximately $55.00. 4 trips per sleepover weekend = $220.00. The lessons run during the school terms, being 40 weeks of the year. We were being forced to take M to half of these lessons, being 20 of them. 4 trips per sleepover weekend, 20 times a year = $4,400.

To be fair, I'd also calculated the cost of a single trip from M's house to German school in a taxi. It would cost approximately $17.00. That household has 2 cars, plus the Evil Witch's partner has a car. We have one car. Enough said.

We had no issues with M continuing to attend these play sessions on the weekends when she wasn't sleeping over with us. Unlike the Evil Witch and her idiot mother, we had never ever told or made demands to the Dark Side as to how they should spend their time with M. If they felt M should continue attending the play sessions, then they should try and work out a reduction of fees for M, as she would be attending half of the sessions.

Jonathan was reluctant to make the move to tell the Dark Side the decision we had made about those confounded German lessons - he had never handled confrontation well, and this would result in a confrontation or four. Jonathan admitted he would rather not deal with it, as it all seemed too hard. However, I told him that he had my full and complete support, and I would stand by him and back him the whole way. I think he felt stronger and more confident from hearing those words. Besides, I wasn't going to allow Jonathan to use my car (yes, MY car) to drive M to and from Chester Hill, catching public transport would take forever, and I needed Jonathan to be home on a Saturday to help me take care of Sean.

I know I sound like a total bitch about this whole thing, but I need my small victories where I can get them. And this was a small victory.

I woke this morning to an empty bed. It was just after 9am, the bedroom door was closed, as was the dividing door separating the our bedroom and Sean's bedroom from the rest of the house. Jonathan had gotten out of bed to look after M, who was told by Jonathan last night to tip toe into our room when she woke and quietly wake Daddy, so they could return to her bed for cuddles and leave me in peace. When Sean woke, Jonathan tended to him too.

By the time I woke, everything was taken care of - both children were fed, all sets of teeth cleaned, Sean's medications given, and they were playing games on the PS3. I felt a little bit guilty, but at the same time, really really pleased. Thank you, darling husband. You are a legend.

We discussed what we were going to do today, and one of the things on the list was to go and do some shopping at Macquarie Centre. So after a bit more playing and relaxing, we packed ourselves into the car and headed to Macquarie Centre. Sean had a nap while we ate our lunch, and we shopped for the things we needed, and headed home.

Late in the afternoon, M asked if we could do some baking. Weeks ago, I had purchased a Bake Pop pan, and I had promised M that we would bake these bake pops on the Long Weekend. She really wanted to do the bake pops today, so even though it was late in the afternoon, we got all the things we needed and made up the red velvet cake batter.

Very carefully, we poured the batter into the holes in the bottom pan, and then very carefully, we secured the top pan on with little silicone clips, and very carefully, we put the pans in the oven. We watched as the batter bubbled through the hole in the top pan, and waited until the pops were cooked.

This was what we pulled out of the oven. The bake pops were still in the pan, and the overflow had turned into yummy "cookies", which we all enjoyed nibbling on.

After dinner, while Jonathan was busy bathing Sean, M and I started making the candy coating for the cake pops. We stopped to help Jonathan with Sean's night time routine, and after Sean was put to bed, M and I continued our candy coating and decorating the bake pops.

The decorating took a while, as we were very careful with the coating, and with the sticking of the sprinkles. It took over an hour to coat and decorate 18 bake pops in total. While it was fun, I'd decided this would not become my side business.

We will be taking these bake pops to David and Kirsty's house tomorrow - somehow, leaving me and Jonathan to eat 18 chocolate covered bake pops laden with sprinkles seemed more like a torture than a treat!

And here they are - our bake pops. Ta da!